A year of mourning, hope and happiness. [BabyZ]

I have thought for weeks to write on this subject. Really on what do I say... and well like any other post, I just have to speak from the heart. Say what it is that I truly feel. This month on facebook I started getting the 'Look back on memories a year ago today', seeing these brought back tons of emotions, dreams, and thoughts. It was a year ago today [August 18th, 2014] that I lost my child. Really is a hard thought to swallow... [If you have not read about my miscarriage story, you can do so here. I wont be going into detail over it all again.] During the journey of my pregnancy, miscarriage and recovery I ended up helping others who have went through the process too. Not by what I have said to them [some I had no clue had encountered the same thing] but by how I handled the loss of my child instead. If you knew me and followed me this time last year, you more likely seen the process and probably even sent words of encouragement, prayer and love. And if you did, thank you so much! Being a year later now, I

A kid in a candy store! [Cabela's]





"Would I sound crazy if I told you that I want you to buy a gun...?" The sentence I thought I would never say to Raul. Really after we just dropped an arm and a leg on his custom 308. However today after Raul's appointment we went to Cabela's. I have never been and the only thing Raul would say is you might find something you will like. Once seeing a billboard saying 'wilderness' on the Cabela's sign, I turned to Raul and just said 'really...?' with the most annoyed look. [Now I love Bass Pro but am so sick of Gander Mnts [they have nothing I am interested in really..] Driving up to Cabela's I seen how big the place was. Which is big HUGE!!!! The inside however, was something I could not have imagined.....

I failed.... and I am okay with it. [Thankful Tuesday]

Failure [noun]

1. An act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success.
2. Nonperformance of something due, required, or expected.
3. A subnormal quantity or quality; an insufficiency.
4. Deterioration or decay, especially or vigor, strength, etc.
5. A condition of being bankrupt by reason of insolvency.
6. A becoming insolvent or bankrupt.
7. A person or thing that proves unsuccessful.

Those are all definitions of failure out of the dictionary. When reading about Failure, you can see why most people stray away from it and/or afraid of it. But why isn't there a definition of failure like; opportunity to success, Opportunity to try again, Time to reassess and try again, Success around the corner, You're not ready yet, or a gift! It gives a different meaning to the word 'failure' doesn't it. So why do we not look at it this way?

Friendship [Thankful Tuesday] Plus some free stuff!

Coming into this week for Thankful Tuesday, there was no question on what I was going to write about. Jessica Jones is my dearest best friend that I met in October 2013 right before the Marine's Corps Ball. Her husband is friends with mine as they were in the same company so it made sense for us to get to know one another. Who would have thought though we would've hit it off and became the best of friends that night! [Don't worry Jess.. I am not going to go into our story. hahah.] Everyone says, "You will meet your life time friend in college.", I always thought that was cool only if I really finished college to find out. Instead I learned something not everyone gets to find out. You find TRUE life long friends in the military. [Oh and do not get me wrong there are some fake ones in there also.] But there is a bonding you have and a understanding when your husbands are putting their life on the line, no phone calls for weeks, not sight of them for months, and just the distance not only you and your husband go through but even as friends! Out of mine and Jessica's friendship we have seen one another for about three months as we lived in the same apartment complex [so awesome!] and the rest has been distance [thank you USMC], which has not changed anything in our friendship. And although we may not have grown up together, Lord knows we have went through some very defining moments in our lives sense being friends! I cannot explain enough how she has changed my life in going on two years but I know I could not have gone through 3/4ths of the things I have.

A girl & her dog! [Thankful Tuesday]

Oh my best friend, headache, workout buddy, child, laughter and cuddle buddy! No I am not talking about Raul right now. hahaha. But rather this adorable four legged baby to the left! [that is not such a baby anymore]

When Raul and I first got married and during our first deployment together we talked about getting a dog. Being outdoor people, Raul's dream dog to have was a German Short Haired Pointer. So when it came to a dog, this is what we would be getting. I was completely fine with this, I just wanted a dog! haha.

So Raul found a man who breeds champion blood line pointers that lived in the area I was in. We looked at the available pups, picked one out and it was already taken. A man from out of state already put his deposit in. So we looked again, looking at the coat, we picked another one. He was available! Raul being deployed I went to pick him up about a week later on my own. Having his cage, collar, toys and food already at home and waiting, I was beyond excited! As Raul was also!

Walking into the mans back yard was dozens of pointers! Beautiful dogs! And then there was Cash (: Cutest of them all! After talking, getting paper work and walking out the door to make our way back home; I was ecstatic.

A Families Love. [Thankful Tuesday]I

Is life really any different when you have family with you then without? 

I know everyone will not have the same answer to this and some really will not know first hand on what one is true or not. However, I do. I know my answer to this at least. Not by just being one way my whole life and thinking, 'Yes. this is how it is suppose to be. This is better.' But rather being in both sides of the court. If you really know me and was by my side during my high school years, you will already know my story. That is about a handful of people though so if you're reading this and not those people, you don't know what the heck I am talking about. That is okay though, here is some background information;

Thankful Tuesday! [Thrifting]

Gosh I have been so thankful for today. So much in that matter of a five hour time spand, has there been some wonderful news, good findings and just happiness. And it has all been just the sign from God continuing to show me that he has a plan and is by my side. That, I am thankful for! So besides the wonderful news from Raul today about Montana, My sister and I went to visit my grand parents. On the way, we see thrift stores!!!! And if you are us or really a Texas folk; you stop! So we did and I found some awesome deals. Here they are!

Step out of your comfort zone.

It is 8pm.

I am sitting in the same seat behind my desk that I have been at sense 6 o'clock this morning.