Today is a day that many people do not get to see with their parents. This day being my parents 29th anniversary. Which divorce in my family, [grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.] is something unheard of. With being a part of that 29 years of marriage for 21 years now; has been an honor. Witnessing their love, their hard times, best times and new experiences has taught me so much. And I know on most anniversaries all you say is, 'happy XX anniversary' but I want to do something different. I do want to wish my parents a wonderful 29th anniversary and hope it is filled with all the love in the world. But I also want to share 16 things that my parents have
Now the things listed below are not things my parents said 'this is what you do.' , 'it should be like this.', 'a man likes this.', 'your role is this.', or whatever else. These are all things from watching my parents my whole life and have used inside of my marriage now for a year and eight months now.
You need God to be the center.
Before the day I was born, both of my parents were in church every Sunday. They worshiped the Lord and they lived Godly lifestyles. My parents knew for things to work and their love to grow deeper, God had to be in it. This is something Raul and I make sure we get a grasp on. We attend church together, we worship, we pray. We make God the center.
Support each other!
This is in everything. From jobs, ideas, and just daily living. There has been many times I have witnessed either my mom switching jobs or my dad getting a new idea. Although I was not a fly on the wall during the discussion of 'I am thinking of doing this, what do you think?' like conversations Raul and I have. Or even the decisions you never see because it was agreed its a no go. My parents always support each other 110% in whatever the other is doing.
Spend quality time together. [kid free vacations are okay!]
I can recall growing up my parents going out, taking Harley bike trips, and other cool things! Heck they now take yearly trips across the world. You know what about those trips they took? they always came back closer, happy and more alive. No matter how long they have been together. No matter how many times they seen each others faces that day, quality time is needed. It is valued!
Parenting is a team sport.
Just with parenting and everything else in the marriage, it was never done alone. It wasn't 'here I will take Miriah to her drill team practice, basketball game, volleyball game' but you pick her up. From the time I got into sports, to the time I stopped. BOTH of my parents were at every single game.
Say I love you more than once a day.
I cannot count on my hands how many times my parents tell one another how much they love each other. During text, phone calls. just sitting down, leaving, coming home, whenever! You always heard those words from each other. There was never a question about it. Which is something Raul and I do also, anytime we pass one another, going somewhere, phone, text, going to bed, waking up, 'I love you' is said.
Take care and serve each other.
This is something I love when people notice about Raul and I because it reflects so much on my parents and really my whole family. Everyday my parents take care of one another and serve each other. My mom cooks for my dad [dad will cook if he gets home before her.], my mom serves my dad his plate, she lays out his clothes for work, after a shower, she cleans, she keeps up with the bills, etc. My dad provides my mom with the things she needs, he pampers her [as she does him], he busts his tail for her, he tends to her also. This is something to this day when Raul and I are even in public, I will tell him 'sit down. I will get your plate. What would you like.' and we always get , the comment, 'oh they are still just newlyweds' but it is funny because that will never change. My parents have been role models on this. This is my 'job' on taking care of my husband and tend to his needs. [Call me a 50s wife if you must...]
Fight fair and not in front of the kids.
I can tell you there has been maybe two times I have HEARD my parents argue. I have never seen these arguments. My parents taught me the importance on protecting my kids and not bringing them into adult problems or even their problems.
Know your role.
My dad is the provider, the supporter, the man that holds everything together. My mom, she is the caretaker, the organizer, the woman that brings everything together AND the second provider if needed. As I play in my marriage today my parents have their whole marriage. My dad will go to work and bust his tail while my mom made sure the house was clean. dinner is ready before or right when he gets home, the kids are taken care of, and be there to welcome him home. Things go smoother this way, it makes for a happy home.
You cannot break your spouses bad habits.
I know there are things my mom doesn't like that my dad does or things my mom does that my dad does not like. But I never hear my mom trying to change the way he his, or shamming him because what he does or even fighting with him till he changes his way. My mom or dad may when taking a shower or on the way to work be cussing up a storm and venting to the air about how annoyed they are. But they understand that you cannot change them. You can only love them through it.
Talk about your day, every day!
Every day my parents ask, 'how was your day.' If it is at dinner time, laying down for bed or on the way home from work. They communicate on it. They know what is going on with each other, they know the down falls, the up bringing, and the jack wad that cut them off getting onto 45. It made a difference for them [as it goes my marriage] when you communicate. When you talk about even the smallest things.
Marriage really means in sickness and health.
This is something a few years back I seen. From the things my family went through, my parents NEVER distanced themselves from each other. They never turned their back or made a shy eye to the problems. They loved one another threw it. They picked each other up, they prayed, and they worked through it. Small things and way bigger things, they did not call it quits.
It is not all roses and butterflies.
My parents did not sugar coat love or marriage. They did not tell me 'it is hard' or 'it is not what you think.' but they did show me, 'you make it work and you take everything on with one another!' Like I said before I did not hear arguments but I knew when money was tight, I knew when things were off track and I knew when emotions were high. But they always worked through it.
Share affection in front of the kids!
Gosh this makes me laugh thinking about it. My parents are two that will hold one another or kiss in front of my sister and I. They hold hands and they call each other nicknames. They taught me to not shy away from expressing your love. [quick story. at a basketball tournament I believe my freshmen year my parents were way at the top of the bleacher, my mom was sitting below my dad between his legs. They looked like a couple teenage love birds. And during warm ups the basketball team said, 'Miriah look at your parents up there being some kids in love.' and I giggled saying, 'yeah they are always like that.] That day years ago is still the same today. Love has no place to show or time, you just do it.
Kiss 'good bye' and 'hello'
Every single day before leaving to work or even the store my parents kiss good bye. I do the same with Raul now also. You never let a time go that they walk away where you do not take the time to kiss and say hello or goodbye. Or even good night!
Be forgiving!
My parents don't hold grudges, nor do they keep count. They have both screwed up, as we all do. But I tell you that they forgive and grow! Things would not work if they didn't.
Stick through it!
As said above my parents have gone through things, TONS more than I know of. But they made a vow. A promise to one another. No matter how many times they have pissed each other off or things coming in between, you keep on pushing!
Now my parents have taught me many more life lessons. But when it comes to leading by example in their love for another, those are a few things that make a huge impact in my marriage also! Thank you mom and dad for all that you do and example for me in my life and marriage. Happy 29th anniversary again! I love y'all!
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