"You're not welcomed here." [Gym Body Shaming]

I'm hurt deeply. I'm hurt almost every single time I step into a gym. Why? Because of this thing called body shaming. It is bad enough we do it to ourselves every single day but at the gym? This should not happen! The gym should be a second home, a release, a place of comfort and motivation! Not a place that gives you this overwhelming anxiety and fear! I can see it by the looks on peoples face and I can even feel it coming down onto me at times. You read it on the internet [as I have had 4 friends just this week post statuses about "this is the reason I workout at home!"] the articles, the smirks at the gym, whispers in the corner or the eyes you feel burning a whole in the back of your head. Thing is though, body shaming doesn't come in just a 'one size'. Obese people are body shamed and even fit people are body shamed.

By people who are at the gym and even by gyms that hold this standard forcing 'body shaming.'
EX. Planet Fitness and their 'too fit' shaming. They have a no grunt policy [lunk alarm] where if you grunt an that will sound so that you can be publicly called out. Their marketing shamed fit people in many ways as leaving fit people seeming brainless and self absorbed. They also even have a dress code in which they don't want you to expose your muscles. Its a disgrace as being a personal trainer and seeing this. When doing schooling to get certified; never in the book does it body sham anywhere, It never once teaches us that we should do it, and it never labels anyone!

[Now don't get me wrong. Not everyone does this. Some people are so engrossed in their own workouts and their own music playlist that they really don't give it much thought. And some even give a friendly, reassuring smile.]

So why do we do it? Why can't we just give a friendly smile and encouragement? Or how about nothing at all! Remember what your mom said, "if you do not have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Let's try that. Lets also try on the other hand to be more welcoming to every shape and size. I believe this is the main reason people fail or leave a gym and feel to be shamed. 

Quick story:
I remember when I was a beginner. When I stepped foot into a gym for the first time over three years ago. I was nervous.. I went straight into the bathroom when I got there to collect myself. Put my headphones in so I could not hear anyone, put my jacket and sweats on so my body was covered and took off to the back empty room to do my workout. Being the first time in a gym alone, I didn't really know what to do with designing my own workout. So I ran where no one could see me. However it was weeks later when a woman with a speech impediment approached me and welcomed me. She asked me how long I have been at this gym because she hasn't seen me around before. We continued to have a conversation for a few minutes and before leaving she said that she hopes to see me again. Little by little this continued. Trainers at the gym approached me the more they seen me, people who came next to me on the treadmill began to talk more also. I began to feel more and more comfortable. It was then a few months in where a man approached me that you could tell competed in shows. He mentioned how much I was sweating and encouraged me to continue to "bust some tail". Every time I ran into him at the gym, he would say the same thing. Encouraging me and really making me want to push harder! I no longer was working out in that closed room but instead was stepping in the free weight section in front of the men who you knew where there 7 days a week for 2 hours at a time. Why was this? Because I was welcomed. 

That is how it should be. From day one. We should be welcoming. We should not just stare or turn our heads quickly. Leaving that person see the face of the regulars or new people thinking that she isn’t welcome, and she probably feels this is due to her weight and/or image.

We need to pay it forward. For when you see someone who looks lost, help them instead of acting annoyed or ignoring them. DO this in a way that lets them know that you were the same when you started, and it wont take long to start learning some of the basics. Remember the people who helped you!

We need to relate to others. When someone asks you what diet you are currently on, don't write down a list of every lean protein and vegetable. Explain that it takes a while to get it all right but when you started, there were just a few things you focused on. You must relate your reply to their current situation to make a difference,

Be a teacher. If you see someone go directly from the cardio machines day in and day out, spark a conversation! Tell them that cardio is great, but for you, the results really came when you learned how to lift. Teach them, instead of posting snarky comments on facebook/instagram/snapchat.

Be a friend! Be as that man was to me when I first started working out. Encourage them. "You look like you had a hard workout, keep it up!", "I haven't seen you here before, welcome!" Be the friend you needed when you first joined!

It is not complicated. It is not some ground breaking information. If someone shows up in a gym, they want to get better! Don't shame them... Don't shame those who have been there and have put some long hard work into their body.  Welcome them, encourage them!
We have to do everything in our power to give those around us the opportunity to succeed.